Sharon Mammoser

Hi, I'm Sharon. I lost my younger brother, Andy, "Andmans"  to suicide 16 years ago. He was one month shy of 30 years old--always the life of the party, the loudest and the funniest one. I had no idea he was suffering from depression, and had been for many, many years. I found this out only after he died.

Me holding Andy in the middle, with my other brothers around me, after a hike in the Adirondacks of NY

We must change the pressures our society puts on men, and people in general, to always be strong, and confident and especially, to not show emotion. Emotions are part of being human, and to express them is natural and healing. Keeping emotions in and not allowing oneself to express them is unhealthy and may lead to disease, depression and other negative consequences. But many people, men especially, equate showing emotion, especially sadness, or fear, as a sign of weakness. I've heard this my whole life. Without thinking of the damage it can cause, men and boys say things like, "Quit crying like a girl!", "Stop acting like a pussy!," "What a wimp you are!" "You weakling! What's wrong with you?" "Look, he's crying like a baby!" I hear these statements and cry inside, thinking of the impact on the person hearing this. A person who is suffering from depression or other mental illness probably feels alone and unable to risk his/her reputation to seek help, to admit s/he's in trouble if these are the attitudes s/he encounters. 

I want people to know it's a positive quality to be sensitive. That being emotionally aware is attractive and healthy. That asking for help shows courage, not weakness. That reaching out and letting loved ones know about your pain is a gift to those you love, letting them help you be, and become your most authentic self. Society must learn to talk about and express their emotions. And we must change the words we use, not only with men, but with girls too. Telling your daughter or son "not to cry like a baby," or to "stop acting like a girl!"  is only adding to the problem. 

It is not a sign of weakness to show emotion!  I want to shout this from the rooftops, tell every man I ever hear saying this how wrong it is! Stop normalizing suppression of emotions! Stop making it seem like you are less of a person--or worse, not a "real man," if you express sadness, loneliness, fear, uncertainty, anxiety, or other negative emotions. 

We must change the pressures we put on our sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, friends. And most of all, we need to change the way we talk about mental health. 

Will you donate generously to this effort? You can do it right here on my personal walk page. 

“Mental Health for All” is the event’s rallying call, and it will take all of us to reach our goal. Thank you!